Case in point: My DVR.

I remember how much I was looking forward having my DVR installed, so I could record my favorite shows and watch them whenever I wanted to.  My wife thought the extra $6.00 a month for the service was a waste of money, especially since I still had an old VCR laying around that, according to her, I could use to do exactly the same thing the DVR would do.

A month after I had brought the DVR home, my wife had to attend a work related event and she wouldn’t be home until late that night. Without my help (or knowledge), somehow she managed to program the DVR to record one of her favorites shows. That evening, as soon as she walked into the house she checked the DVR to make sure it had recorded the show. In horror I saw her smile when she found it stored deep into the DVR hard drive. That moment I knew I could kiss my DVR good bye.

Nowadays my precious DVR is full of soap operas, episodes of American Got Talent and similar atrocities. No matter how much I erase these things, there is never enough space to records my shows in full, and most of the time, they get shopped in the middle, usually right before the guys from Myth Busters are about to try a new experiment to prove or bust a myth.

But this love-hate relationship between my wife and my gadgets go far beyond my DVR. Similar things had occurred with the Netbook that I purchased with the idea of taking it with me whenever we travel. After telling me that she didn’t understand why I would need another laptop, she now ask for it to check her emails while we wait on the airport. Because it is so small and convenience, she also uses it do some of her work while she is in bed at night. or whenever she goes to a work seminar. Recently she finally confessed that those things are really cool and she wants one for herself.

The same thing happened with my iPhone. At the beginning she thought that the iPhone was just another cellular phone and she couldn’t understand all the hype around it. After using it several times, she now constantly asks me for it to get some information on the internet or to find a restaurant nearby. Last week she told me “You know, I think I want an iPhone”

So the relationship between me, my wife and my gadgets goes something like this:

1.  I buy a new gadget

2.  Wife complains that it is

            a. Too expensive

            b. Unnecessary

            c. a and b

3. Wife tries my new gadget.

4. Wife likes my new gadget, but wont’ admit to it.

5. Wife finally admits that she likes it and claims ownership over it or asks for a similar one for herself.

And the story repeats itself with every new thing I buy.

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These are according to a new study conducted by The Australian National University and another one published by the Journal of Family Psychology.

Both studies looked at different factors that influence whether a marriage will last or not.

The first studied titled “What’s love got to do with it” (yes like the song) tracked nearly 2,500 couples — married or living together — from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.

This study found that:

1. A husband who is 9 or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorce, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25
2. If the couple had children before their marriage (either with their current spouse or from previous relationships) they are more likely to separate.
3. Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.
4. Sixteen percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.
5. Partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.
6. Sixteen percent of couple who considered themselves as being poor, ended up in divorce, compared to 9% among couples with higher income.

The good news is that this study found that the number of children born in the marriage and the employment status of the wife has no impact in the relationship.

The second study, found that those who moved in with a mate before engagement or marriage reported significantly lower quality marriages and a greater potential for split-ups than other couples.

What strikes me the most is the high percentage of second or third marriages that end on divorce (90%). You would think that people would go into a second marriage a little bit more prepare and knowing the ups and downs of a relationship, yet the opposite is true. Perhaps this article about the top 5 reasons why second marriages fail makes sense after all.

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The reason I am bringing this up is because father’s day is coming up, so I’ve decided to write a very simple guide to father’s day gifts for all those clueless wives who usually give us something we really don’t like, but we accept because we don’t want to break anyone’s heart.

Let me start by saying something: we are very simple people. Contrary to what most women think, men are very easy to please. If you don’t believe me, the next time you go to a hardware or electronic store, look around and see how many man you see with a sad expression on their face. Most likely you will encounter happy men talking and helping each other explaining to less savvy fellow men how to use a tool, or the latest feature of that Blue Ray DVD player we are thinking of buying. I mean, you give us a gift card to our favorite electronic or hardware store and we’ll be as happy as child in a toy store.

The other important thing you all must know, is that WE DO NOT WANT ANY CLOTHES for father’s day. No matter how handsome you might think we would look in that dress up shirt, for most men, clothe is just something you wear to avoid getting arrested for indecent exposure. If we want need some shirt or pants, we would drive ourselves to the store, pick the first thing we see in the man’s department, put it over our body to see if it fits (we don’t even use the fitting room to try it out) pay for it, and walk out, spending a total of $10 and less than 5 minutes of our time. You see, stores have long discovered this behavioral pattern in men, and that is the reason in most big store chains, the man’s department in the first thing you see when you walk in. On the other side, women must walk all the way to the back of the store, ask for directions, receive a map with specific instruction and clues and then complete a dozen quests before they can find their department. All these is done with the hope that in the process women would browse the entire store and buy as many items as they can possible fit in their shopping carts. Which is what usually happens every time a woman goes shopping for a dress.

Another important thing you must know is that chores, and honey-do list, are not compatible with the celebratory spirit of father’s day. Do you know how many times we have dreamed about spending a whole day in front of the TV watching a game, or playing Xbox without having to hear the dreaded phrase “honey can you please….? Nothing destroys more the joy of celebrating fatherhood like hearing those words. If you want to make us happy during father’s day, simply turn on the TV, give us the remote and take care of the house and the kids for just 8 hours. We’ll do the rest to entertain ourselves and have a good time.

Finally, if you really want to make it a very special father’s day, wear something sexy at night, tell us that you have a “special gift” waiting for us in bed, and I guarantee you that the TV will be off in 2 seconds and we’ll thinking “boy this is the best father’s day ever!

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Costa Rica is one of those places where you can’t go wrong if you want to take a family vacation. They have absolutely everything, from gorgeous virgin beaches to rain forest national parks where kids can explore and see a variety of wild animals in their natural habitat. Plus the prices are really cheap compared to some popular destinations in the US.

We stayed one night at the base of an active volcano (Volcán Arenal). I have included some pictures at the end of this post. The view was incredible from the hotel. From there we went to Guanacaste were we stayed for 4 days at Playa Hermoza beach. Not one of the best beaches in Costa Rica, but it was certainly nice and the kids had a blast with the monkeys that would swing from one tree to another and through mangos at you if you would try to get close to them.

We also visited San Jose, Heredia, Cartago and Volcan Irazu. Another impressive volcano, although this one is not active.

If you are ever thinking about visiting another country, I would defently consider Costa Rica. You can get very good deals on Spirit Air. We paid about $170 round trip per person. Sometimes they have specials where you can buy a round trip ticket for under $100 with taxes and everything. I recommend you sign up for their email blast, so you are aware of where they are having those special sales.

For now, I am back to reality, and I am working on my next post, which is related to college and how parents can save for their children education.

Volcán Arenal

Volcán Irazu

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OC Family and Inland Empire Family’s annual list of Shining Students has long been reserved for high school seniors exhibiting
academic excellence, but for our 10th year, we decided to do something different - open it up to everyone!

Yes, the 2009 Shining Students can be any age, any discipline. We want to know about the athletes and the artists, the academic
decathlon winners and the videogame designers, the classical, jazz and rock musicians. If you have a child who’s exhibiting phenomenal
achievement in their particular passion, let us know.

Please go to ocfamily.com and click on feedback and give us the following information:
Child’s name
Age
School
Grade
Parent’s name
Contact information
Category
200 words or less about the child and his or her expertise Please
then send a digital photo (preferably high resolution) to: kporazzo@churmmedia.com

Good luck and let me know if your child was selected!

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The results were published by the American Journal of Preventative Medicine. The research team classified degrading sexual lyrics as “songs which described sex as a physical rather than loving act and also where it was linked to power”

Researchers refused to name which songs would fall into the degrading category, but cited commonly used phrases that seems to appear in most of the sexually explicit songs.

Teens participating in the study (ages 13 to 18 years old)  were split in 3 groups - those who listened to such music regularly (over 17 hours a week), sometimes (under 2. hours a week) and not often. They found 45% of regular listeners had had sex, compared to just 21% of infrequent listeners

This is just another indicator on how important it is for parents to know what our children are being exposed to. It is not about banning, but about screening and making sure that our kids are mature enough to handle certain types of music, movies and video games.

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I see a lot of parents pushing their teenager sons and daughters to start driving as soon as they can obtain their driver’s learning permit. Whether it is for convenience or for necessity, many parents wants their children to hit the road as soon as possible, but at what price?

The statistics are staggering:

• According to an analysis conducted for AAA, in 2006 drivers ages 15 to 17 were involved in approximately 974,000 crashes that injured 406,427 people and killed 2,541.
• According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among U.S. teens, accounting for 36 percent of all deaths in the age group.
• The risk of motor vehicle crashes is higher among 16- to 19-year-olds than among any other age group, and per-miles-driven teens ages 16 to 19 are four times more likely than older drivers to crash, says the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS).
• Risk is highest at age 16, and the crash rate per miles driven is twice as high for 16 year olds as it is for 18 and 19 year olds, according to the IIHS.
• IIHS statistics show that 16- and 17-year-old driver death rates increase with each additional passenger.
• According to teensafety.com, 1 in 3 teenage drivers has an accident in the first year of receiving a license, and a teenager is injured in a car crash every 55 seconds and killed every 6.5 minutes.

I particularly am not in a hurry for my oddest son to begin driving. I rather drive him around until I feel he is mature enough to make the right decision whenever he is behind the wheel. I also have a rule for driving in my house: You can drive when you can afford your own car insurance.

I know many parents might feel that driving is part of developing your own independence and becoming an adult. Perhaps this is true, but with these somber statistics, I rather continue being my son’s personal driver than him becoming another statistic.

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A new version of Google maps will allow parents to track the whereabouts of their kids if they are carrying a cell phone. If the phone has GPS, Google will use the GPS signal to provide a very precise location of where the child is located. If the phone does not have GPS, it will use the cell phone towers or Wi-fi connections which are less precise.

The featured called “Latitude” will enable people with mobile phones and other wireless devices to automatically share their whereabouts with family and friends by plotting the user’s location — marked by a personal picture on Google’s map. The system can follow people’s travels in the United States and 26 other countries.

To start out, Google Latitude will work on Research In Motion Ltd.’s BlackBerry and devices running on Symbian software or Microsoft Corp.’s Windows Mobile. It will also operate on some T-Mobile phones running on Google’s Android software and eventually will work on Apple Inc.’s iPhone and iTouch.

With a computer version of the software, rather than the online version, parents will have the choice to limit who can track their children. They will also have the choice to turn the tracking feature on or off from the cell phones.

I personally like the idea, especially because Google is taking several steps to maintain the privacy of the information and it is not saving any identifiable information on their servers. If used well, this could be a great tool for parents, especially if you have teenagers; who are always on the go.

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